Greetings from Camp Chaos ⛺

Dear Mom and Dad (you),

Sorry it’s taken so long to write. I’ve just been living it up at Camp Chaos™️ where “the unexpected thrives and you should never feel comfortable.”

Here’s a rundown of what’s been going on this session:

• Way back in June (remember her?), I tripped over the floor in my office because it had… buckled? By the end of this story, there were three separate bumps in the wood flooring. Cue Black Eyed Peas’ “My Humps.”

• We (the royal one that includes my partner Sam, a queen) reported it to maintenance and 4 days later in July (time sure flies), we got an email from our property manager that we’d need to relocate for 7-10 days while they fixed the leak and obviously took care of the mold growing in our walls/floors for god knows how long.

• Which is crazy, because that’s a lot of time! To unexpectedly be away from home! Where we had just paid rent! And where our two cats live!

  • Do you know anything about cats? They’re incredibly sensitive to their environment — even more than my autistic ass.

• We somehow found not one but TWO very generous friends who would be out of town while we needed a place to bunk until the repairs were finished which was estimated to be done by yesterday.

• So here we are, today, the last day we can be in a friend’s, um, bunk, and our counselor—dropping the metaphor now because it’s giving me heat stroke—let us know the repairs are delayed and that 10 days was only estimate.

[insert big scream covered by a whistle here]

We’ve been out of our apartment for 13 days and now we’re headed to an emergency Airbnb for…..?????

It’s kind of embarrassing how easy it is to underestimate how important and stabilizing your home is until you’re not in it.

On that note, I’m taking the ~bare minimum~ daily rent credit our genuinely useless property manager offered for next month and donating it to PATH, a non-profit whose mission is to end homelessness by supporting individuals and families in need of a path home (nice).

Anyway, I’m gonna go push Matthew Dizon, Moses Kagan, and Adaptive Realty at large fall into the lake—at camp! Because it’s fun! And has been 90+ degrees! With cats!

Funny now: You simply must see Theater Camp. It’s the funniest movie I’ve seen all year. It made me laugh so hard, I farted for most of it. (Sorry, row M.)